"We have come to visit you in peace."
"...Reports are coming in from all over the empire, from all over the world. The government has not yet issued any statement but there seems to be no question that there actually is a large unidentified object circling the earth at incredible speed."
"This is Elmer Davis in Washington."
"'You mustn't. You don't know what you're doing. It isn't just you and Mr. Carpenter--the rest of the world is involved.'
'I don't care about the rest of the world.'"
"He could destroy the earth."
"'If anything should happen to me, you must go to Gort. You must say these words: Klaatu Birada Nikto. Please repeat that.'
'Klaatu Birada Nikto.'
'You must remember those words.'"
Your Advice for the next week, . |
please look not only at your sun sign, but also your ascendant/rising sign-more accurate that way ^^ |
By Caeriel Provided to you by a dirty blogwhore.
SAGITTARIUS
NOV. 22-DEC. 21
It's not exactly A Christmas Carol, but you ought to identify with
Ebenezer this week anyway, as unlikely spirits provide you with an unsettling picture of an alternate
reality; how things would be if you managed to truly become who you think you want to turn into. The
weird thing is: You may not like what you see. Take these (possibly disturbing) visions to heart
and consider how your personal aspirations could affect the people around you and create unanticipated
ripples in your life. You needn't turn aside completely from the evolutionary journey you embarked
on a while back. But shifting a few degrees in either direction might mean the difference between
finding paradise and getting completely lost.
CAPRICORN
DEC. 22-JAN. 19
Love is the answer, you'll probably decide this week. That's because
the planets have brewed up an intense dose of high-grade ecstasy for you. Call and visit everyone
you know, just to tell them how much you adore them. Sure, you'll get funny looks—someone
might even be concerned enough to slip you the number to the suicide hotline—but so what?
Most people will be pleasantly surprised (beneath their initial discomfort) to receive this kind
of effusiveness from you. Don't miss this chance to spill your guts and wax poetic, because who knows
when your next one might be?
AQUARIUS
JAN. 20-FEB. 18
Politics should not be emotional. Running the government ought to be strictly
a pencil-pushing, get-things-done affair, not this epic battle over ideas. It's because people
can't separate their emotions from their politics that Bush got reelected—without unreasoning
fear and blind faith, he wouldn't have stood a chance. This week, don't let your practical head stuff
get too intermixed with all the sloppy, illogical heart stuff. There are times when it's good to
let one influence the other, to revel in the gorgeous mess that usually results. But this ain't one
of them. Keep your brain's business and your soul's passions as separate as church and state are
supposed to be in the White House.
PISCES
FEB. 19-MARCH 20
Unrealistic romance is the name of the game this weekend. This ain't a bad
thing, at all. By all means, indulge yourself with soft lighting and long, soul-melting staring
matches. Don't read too much into it, though; enjoy the moments thoroughly, but resist the urge
to make promises that may wither under the harsh fluorescents of the coming week. If, by next Thursday,
you're still feeling the way you did while pouring red wine down each other's throats on the candlelit
bearskin hearth rug, then swear eternal fealty, endless adoration or whatever feels right—but
not before.
ARIES
MARCH 21-APRIL 19
You may wrack your brain this week, trying to recall if you've recently eaten
oysters, or somehow consumed powdered rhinoceros horn. You'll probably want to come up with some
explanation for this off-the-hook horniness. Stop looking suspiciously around the office trying
to figure out who slipped Viagra into your morning coffee. It's actually just you (and the naughty
planetary influences you're subject to). Indulge your lascivious urges. Why not? If you don't
currently have a regular lover or fuckbud, there's nothing wrong with a long weekend of self-pleasure,
or a well-handled, no- illusions one-night stand.
TAURUS
APRIL 20-MAY 20
The unrequited-love thing is so tired and boring. Please resist
falling into that trap (again). It's going to be yawning open for you this week, thanks to some crap
that's going on in the stars. Generally mistrust any attractions that spring up (or dramatically
intensify) this week. They're probably fucked: Either your blossoming crush is focused on someone
you secretly know you can't have, or it has nothing to do with the actual person—it's all about
what you're projecting onto her, or him. Neither should you abandon these feelings. They could be real. They might even have long-term potential. My point is that there's no way to know, just now.
Wait it out. You'll know in two weeks' time whether this is something to jump at, or run away from.
GEMINI
MAY 21-JUNE 20
Announcing that you've changed your mind about something won't raise many
eyebrows; you're notoriously flexible about your ideas and opinions. However, trying to force
your brand-new viewpoint on others will shock (and, most likely, offend) those you subject your
zealotry to—not only because it's completely out of character, but also because it's in
bad taste. Oh, you know that this time you're right, probably more right than you've ever
been, but still—let it settle for a while before you go spreading the good word. Now you just
seem brainwashed and culty. In a couple of weeks or months you'll seem either batshit crazy—or
100 percent right.
CANCER
JUNE 21-JULY 22
Cancers, as a tribe, have a special mix of down-to-earth practicality and
whacked out emotions, which can lead to some fascinating and brilliant innovations, along with
many, many messes (which have their own appeal). The trouble is, you rarely deliberately apply
this combination to anything outside yourself (like, say, designing a new piece of playground
equipment, or coming up with an effective way to protest the government), so people almost
never get a glimpse of this cool brand of creativity. This week, escape your own fascinating but
limited inner world and bring your faculties to bear on situations that will actually, tangibly
affect other people (preferably in a positive way).
LEO
JULY 23-AUG. 22
You're lucky this week. I don't know why; you've just got this glow about you,
like good things are going to happen. Happy accidents. Be flexible and open to them. Try new things.
You'll probably never get the results you expect, but the surprises will be even better. I can almost
guarantee it. Be alert to these startling outcomes, because they could be openings to new paths
you'd never before considered—didn't even know existed, in fact—which are actually
exactly your flavor. Don't miss these turn-offs from the highway you're on. They're the kinds of
detours that make the whole trip worthwhile.
VIRGO
AUG. 23-SEPT. 22
If you were a door-to-door salesperson this week, you'd make a fucking fortune.
You can talk anyone into anything right now. Be careful not to abuse this power (too much), though,
because once it fades, the people you talked out of their underwear, jobs or safe, comfortable lives
might hate you for it and seek revenge. Go ahead and convince the bartender to give you free drinks,
or your boss to give everyone an extra-long lunch hour. But when it comes to changing someone's mind
about anything that's important, be sure that the consequences will be more good than bad—because
you'll have to live with them either way.
LIBRA
SEPT. 23-OCT. 22
You've got so many strings in your hands, I can't tell if you're some kind of
puppet master, professional knitter, or sailor. I don't know if you can make people dance, get them
naked (by unraveling their sweaters), hoist sails to exotic locales, or all three. All I know is:
You've got power. Will you exercise it? Should you? I don't know. What I do know is that being connected
to so many people and situations may make you powerful, but it also makes you responsible.
Hadn't thought about it that way yet? Well, consider it before you go pulling strings and making
things happen. I think you're ready for that responsibility, but—do you?
SCORPIOOCT. 23-NOV. 21
Everything is sex. We know this—your problem is that it'll
be hard to view it in any other light this week, given the fact that Mars and Venus are having a nonstop
fuckfest in your sign. Sexuality is the lens through which you're blessed or doomed to see the world
right now. It's not so bad—it's bound to get you laid a bunch, after all—but for those
who aren't quite so one-track as you, it could get a bit old, so you might want to keep your filthy thoughts
to yourself. In other words, you can't help what you see, or how you see it, but you can keep
from saying it all out loud, or worse, acting it out. Restraint (no, not restraints, you horndog)
can be sexy. Try it.
by the way--- this blogwhore's scope is capricorn with a scorpio rising strong, often more scorp than cap, in many ways. yea i am a perv. but--isn't that obvious to anyone blessed enough to know adorable talented *humble? me??? ;) pour one on me, today. *if you are a minor, toke a bowl, or dance a jig. if between eighteen and twentyone and in america, you my sorrow'd soul are forced to suffer, ha ha *(tho we both know u have your ways of 'coping', right? ;) ) [will add some more bitchen erotic poems, later today. need to go walk dogs, and typing is pissing me off right now, slammed my index earlier. xxx me]
|
I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
to train in black arts and soul harvesting.
groggy
bitchy
Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)